Struggling & Why I'm Here -

I am struggling. I have been really struggling with my mental health recently. It has been bleeding into my school, and Kung fu. Most the time I am able to leave all the problems at the door, I cant sometimes. Sometimes my mind gets to overwhelmed and I need to take a step back. Over the last few months I have tried to see more of the positives which got really hard recently, at school I have lost all but one friend and this has really taken a toll on my mental health. What does this have to do with kung fu? Everything, all the people I have become close with over the years. You all give me a reason to keep coming back. 
I think I know why I do kung fu. I believe it's more of the connections I have made. It's the people I have at kung fu that make it more enjoyable. Like sure I really like the forms and how much detail is put into making and doing a form. But at the same time I feel like I mostly go for the connections. I know why I know why I teach and for me it's something I really enjoy. Teaching for me is being able to give someone a safe space where they feel comfortable enough to learn and just enjoy the art. So over all, why am I hear? Because kung fu gives me a space to be safe. Knowing that I will always have people to go to and reach out to. Knowing that these people will always stand by my side. Even through the darkest times. So thank you. You people in the IHC are the reason I am at kung fu.
 
BTW, I am really struggling with my numbers, I would like to blame my mental health but I know that just making reasons and it doesn't help much so I guess I'm asking people to help push me to randomly do reps of 20/10 so I can get my numbers up.  

-numbers-
Sit-ups - 600
push-ups - 550
hand - 30
weapon - 25
Aok - 100
kilometers - 153
blogs - 3 + 1 
sparring - 0

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Routine

Last week I had my last diplomas! I am officially done high school! It’s a big relief but at the same time there is now the stress of what comes next. I have liked school for the reason of having a routine but now I have to work on myself in making my own routine. This will include food, exercise, sleep, and just making sure that I don’t spend as much time just laying in bed.  Having the coffee zoom this morning(Sunday), we talked about eating habits. And I know people have told me again and again how eating properly will change your life for the better. But our conversation this morning really shifted something in me. I have always wanted to do certain things but can’t seem to keep the motivation. But in blogging about it I hope it causes me to feel the need to continue.  I plan to do some research on which foods are the best, and which ones I should stay away from. As well I will look into which food can help me sleep better. If anyone has any advice I would be happy to hear...
Read more

The good and bad

Last week I had a lot of ups and downs. For instant one minute I would be full of energy and the next I would want to crawl into a corner. This made things a lot harder. I would find it took a lot of energy to do simple tasks, like even getting out of bed. Even this blog is being published later then I wanted. When I get down I sort of just close off and just shut everything out. Which in retrospect it's not a good thing. I have been trying moving to a new location(like from one room in the house to another), and sometimes it works but other times it doesn't. But within all the harder moments there were good. One of which was hanging with my friend, we bleached t-shirts over the weekend which was really fun. And I have gone on some deep dives in kung fu which have been really cool! So even though I see a lot of harder times there is also lots of good.  push ups - 1000 Sit ups - 1015 Hand form - 255 Weapon - 205 Kilometres - 697 Aok - 491 Blogs - 21 +1 Sparring - 125 Personal :...
Read more

Shifting

Over the last while I have been missing kung fu, I had to miss a few classes due to having school work and just changing perspectives. But yesterday I was able to attend tai chi and I am so thankful that I decided to go. From not be able to go over the last little bit I was sort of nervous to 'come back' because I was kind of scared of what people would think. But in retro-spectre I shouldn't have been nervous because this is my journey and it doesn't necessarily matter what others think.  Over the last month-ish, I have been practicing/focusing on shifting weight. Like in tai chi I shift forward and backwards quite slowly and I am able to feel where in my body the weight is going, like through my leg down to my foot(but in more detail , I normally have more weight in the ball of my foot when shifting forward. But when shifting back I found my weight goes straight down my leg into my heal.  This has developed into more insights in my training. When doing a kung fu form ...
Read more