Shira's blogs

New year's is coming up and I was thinking about my New Year’s resolution and what I wanted to accomplish in the new year. In thinking about it I realize that just by saying things will change doesn’t mean they will. You actually have to put in the work and effort to get things where you want them. In order to get things to change, you do need to switch how your thinking and see why you actually want to change it. But you also need the work ethic. And that will only come if you keep pushing.  One of my new year goals is to improve my mental health. Now this might just sound simple but it’s been something I have been trying to figure out how to do for a while.. I think to do this I need to keep reminding myself why I am here and what I am doing, in doing this I will be able to see my importance which will help my mental health. And I need to remember the people around me and why I’m thankful for them in my life. As well as my therapist and I have a plan set in place which I think wi...

Over the last month I haven’t had the best mental health. I seem to keep crashing mentally, and the crashes just seem to get worse each time. This has been really frustrating because I seem to have to put my life on hold when I crash. This has been affecting my school, sleep, eating, as well as my Kung fu. I tend to basically stop taking care of myself when I crash.. Then it’s hard to build up my routine again.  This week I crashed on Monday evening, and it lasted for a good day. And yes that doesn’t seem like the worse but normally they only last for a hour or two so in comparison it was bad. But once I started to feel better and after I talked to a few different people(thank you if I talked to you) I think I’m starting to realize something. I try to make the times when I feel good last for a long time and the bad to only be short. But this is the same with kung fu! I try and keep when I have motivation long but when I don’t have motivation I change what I’m doing so that I do hav...

Last week I did something to my knee, I was basically kneeling on the ground and I stood up and it felt like my knee popped. It was weird and very painful. It’s not the first time this has happened but the pain lasted a good day this time, when normally it goes away within the hour. Throughout the next few days I had to really listen to my body and focus on what I was doing in Kung fu, sort of in fear of it happening again or hurting it more.  Aside from that, in the Saturday second degree brown class I was really focusing on what I personally did. This made me think a lot about being off balance and whether I was in my “zone” or not. This is connected to my spear form as well because I tend to feel like I don’t have a great  spatial awareness when doing the form. It’s something I have been working on for the last little bit by just getting more comfortable with the form itself.  -numbers-  sit-ups - 1695 push-ups - 1825 hand - 169 weapon - 220 Aok - 850 Kilometers -...

Last class on Tuesday was a really long class, not in a negative way but in the way that it was like I made a whole journey. We were doing stift swinging kick to spin and at first I was just sort of doing it mindlessly but the after a few people asked their questions one popped into my head. Although the way I asked the question still doesn’t even make complete sense to me but I eventually got an answer. And looking back I still don’t really know what I was trying to ask. But after I asked the question it was kind of like I started to pick up on little things I was doing. Which was good and bad. Because I got stuck on one thing. This was that I was moving forward when I spun and I couldn’t really figure out why I was. Later in class sifu rybak called me over to watch someone else doing the kick. It took me a second but then it clicked. I was slightly lifting my center. It seems so obvious now but it took so long (felt like so long) of doing the kick to figure it out. Now I have it ...

I feel like I have done so much yet so little lately. Like I know I’m practicing Kung fu and stuff but at the same time I can’t pinpoint what I actually have been doing.  Although lately in classes(which has been like 2 classes) I have been working on figuring out what I’m feeling. And I realized that it’s all internal. Like kicking, I feel it start in my stomach but like a ball of energy in an empty space, then it studently gets launched off into millions of directions but one main trajectory. I  don’t know if this is making sense but it does to me.  But this goes for everything, kicks, punches, etc.  -numbers-  sit-ups - 1575 push-ups - 1725 hand - 160 weapon - 184 Aok - 795 Kilometers - 855 blogs - 43 + 1 sparring - 177