Lost again -

I have already been feeling like I’m letting people down for this year, including myself. I haven’t really started on my requirements, as it was an awkward stage of overlap and now I find myself sick… I feel like I’m failing this year and it literally hasn’t even started. And I know this is not a good perspective to have going into the year. It’s extremely hard for me to stay accountable when I’m the only one telling myself to do things. I find it so much more helpful when people around me keep me accountable and are there to continually push me on. Even if it’s just a small text or something just saying “ do this”, I find it’s helpful when it’s directed. 
As for the banquet, I found it just felt funny this year? Like it was just like I was watching a repeat of last year. And as there were more things I was actively participating in (awards for kids, kids demos, our demo, lion dance, red packets, food stuff, set up, pack up(after) and so on). I felt like I was constantly doing something. Don’t get me wrong it was an amazing night, it just felt sort of off. And now it feels like alone/empty, kinda like what do I do now? I am not preparing for the lion, or worrying about presenting kids awards or helping get things in order. I don’t really know where to start. Or where I’m going now. So to sum that up I just feel kind of lost on what to do now. 
And yes I know these numbers are bad.. I’m trying to not let that stop me from moving forward and just giving up. Which has been a bit hard but I’m still here! 

Push ups - 43
Sit ups - 20
Hand form - 0
Weapon - 0
Kilometres - 0
Aok - 0
Blogs - 1
sparring - 0 

Personal : 
Gratitude - 0
Journaling - 0
Keeping room clean - it’s clean!
Meditation - 0
Full lion dance - 0
Drumming - 0
Buddha - 0
Lion feelings blogs - 0

Comments

  1. Story timeFebruary 3, 2025 at 1:51 PM

    The feeling of loneliness and being a bit lost seems to be a common theme in the last couple of days. You are the third of our bestie group writing about similar feelings. Let’s use our group to find a path forward and to not feel so alone!!!🤗 ( Laura)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Malinda FerrisFebruary 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM

    Hey. Your room is clean! That’s a positive. And as Laura said, this feeling of loss is common. I’d love to help you with drumming if you’d like!

    ReplyDelete

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