struggling update

The start of the week was going good, I was doing my 10 pushups, but by Friday I fell off again.. I hate admitting this. But I am struggling. I feel like I should be up on the top of the world and accomplishing everything. But that's just not true. I'm really struggling even with simple day to day things. Let alone kung fu things. I'm trying to keep blogging as if I stop it will be even harder to start up again... I do have days where things go good. I get things done. But it's the off days where things start to fall off the wagon. 

I have been battling with my mental health for a while now. Every time it gets a bit better I relax again and don't think about it. And the once I crash again I don't remember how I got out of the crash in the first place. This has been a constant battle for years. I want to have help but I also realize that this is my battle and like the saying 'you can lead a horse to water but cant force it to drink' (or something like that). I realize that nothing is going to change until I put in the work. But that's easier said then done. 

push ups - 1361
Sit ups - 1015
Hand form - 6
Weapon - 0 (struggling to start.)
Kilometers - 5
Aok - 85
Blogs - 5 + 1
Sparring - 15

Personal : 
outside walks - 3
stretching plan - 0
strengthening plan - 0

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