Shira's blogs

I have been stuck in a depressive crash the last few days. I might not even post this blog. I feel like I’m failing at everything and I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe it’s the heat getting to me or I have just been really overwhelmed or a mixture of both, but it has been really hard to stay motivated. Even writing this blog, I have been working on it for the last week. I have not been working on my requirements and I hate admitting it but I haven’t even been working on anything. I have just sort of stopped doing things all together. I have just been stuck in a rut and I don't really know how to get out besides just waiting. 

This Thursday I got the opportunity to run both level one and level two kids classes. Normally I just get to take a portion of the class at most. But this time I was in charge of the WHOLE class, even though I had a rough 'scripped' to follow it still felt really like I had a lot of responsibility. At times I was unsure whether I was doing a good job, or if the kids were enjoying themselves, and sure there were a few hiccups but overall I think I did pretty good! One of the kids came up to me after class and told me that the class went really fast, I think/hope that's a good thing. One of the things I did was sort of like relays but with lion techniques, I had a rough plan which is normally enough but then it was running faster than I thought it would so I had to think of a few techniques on the spot but I think it also went really good, and I think the kids enjoyed it. And a huge thank you to the people I did have there helping instructed, I wouldn't have been able to ...

Yesterday I went to open training; I wasn’t planning to go originally but I had a change of plans and decided to go. This was a really good decision! I got to work on a few things that have been sitting in my head all week(from not being able to participate in classes). Although there were a few things I didn’t get to work on, which I’m literally just remembering now… I got to work on a lot of different little things, which includes some things I didn’t originally intended to do but am happy I did get to work on them.  One thing I worked on was my katana form. I ran through it with and without a katana(bokken, because I forgot to bring my katana). When I was practicing I was focusing on one of my blocks, and what I was actually blocking. This brought a whole group of questions ‘which direction am I blocking from, am I actually blocking or am I striking?’. After talking with with someone I came to a realization that I did want to be blocking and I knew where strike was coming from. ...

Last Friday I got my wisdom teeth out(three of them), I’m not in much pain, and they didn’t even bleed for more than like 2 hours, which I think is pretty good.  Although one of the hardest parts of getting them out is I’m not allowed to do physical activity for about a week.. It’s like the one thing I can’t do is the only thing I want to do. I really want to be able to do my forms, and just like jump around. But it feels like I’m stuck and can’t do anything. I have just been sleeping, eating, and repeating. And yes I have been doing some other things(both related to Kung fu and not related). Which has been nice but I still feel like bored and not knowing what to do.  push ups - 796 Sit ups - 810 Hand form - 155 Weapon - 137 Kilometres - 477 Aok - 331 Blogs - 11 +1 Sparring - 115 Personal :  Gratitude - 5 Journaling - 9 Keeping room clean - I have been not keeping up with cleaning my room, i am trying to not let it get to messy though.  Full lion dance - 0 Drumming -...

I have been realizing when I go to Kung fu I tend to crash once I get home. Crash as in cry and just not want to move, etc… I think this is because of how good I feel at Kung fu. I fill my time at Kung fu with joy and lasting memories. As I interact with students and peers, these relationships make up a good portion of my life and what I value. But once I get home it’s kind of like reality setting in. All the weight I was carrying before reapears. All the struggles and constant nagging my mind does. I have realized this but I’m not really sure how I can fix it.. I love Kung fu and it’s a huge part of who I am. Without Kung fu my believes and values would probably be completely different. And when I don’t have Kung fu it just gives me more time to sit, battling with my head. But in the same way, I can’t do more(partly bc I go to like ALL the classes) and bc it’s unrealistic to go to all classes. As in I would eventually get overwhelmed and overworked. And I hope that’s not the problem n...

My snake form(just the school form) has been progressing good. The snake form was quite tricky for me in the beginning as I could get the wiggle.. But I’m starting to feel like it’s getting there and I’m feeling more confident with how it’s going! It’s not progressing at the best speed although its still moving forward and I’m real proud of that. This year it’s been a bit different as I have to go out of my way to learn it as it’s not taught in classes, but it has helped me get out of my comfort zone and ask for help.  Also I have been taking more opportunities in teaching classes which has helped me improve on that aspect! I have done the warm up in classes which lets me control what I do, I normally try to do something cardio which has(or at least I think it has) helped bring up my stamina.  On the other note my numbers have not been looking to hot… I had this problem last year, and it has been carrying on to this year. But I don’t sit down and write out my number so the ine...

Every class I make an effort to talk to students about how they are doing. This also includes weather they are excited/ready for Kung fu. If they start to say no, I try and boost their mood and try and get them excited for Kung fu. This could be giving me things to do in the warm-up(if I’m doing it) or just talking about fun things. And being really energetic about it. This helps me gauge how much I will push them in classes. For example if a student has been having a rough time I will still push them but I will add a larger amount of positive and reassuring feedback towards them. Not saying I don’t give positive comments to other; I just know when I struggle I value those little comments a LOT more then when I’m in a good mood. As well at the end of the class I make an effort to go to the students not in the best mood at the beginning of the class and check how they are feeling now that class was over, and ask if they were happy that they came. Sometimes they still feel down but the m...